Topic- Describe the qualities you want in a person to be your ideal Husband.

Marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning"-one of my favorite quotes. Marriage is a bond for life and as everything else in life I believe that a marriage has its share of ups and downs. And according to me a successful marriage is very important as I believe that the word 'divorce' must not exist in ones dictionary. I have got this one friend who says that it is her fourth husband who will be her Mr. Perfect and I find it to be a totally disgusting attitude. For a marriage to be successful ones choice of life partner has to be perfect. That of course does not mean that the person himself has to be perfect, but that both of us together have to be perfect.

The first quality that I think that a person to be my husband should have is a great sense of humor. A sense of humor does not indicate that I want a person who keeps firing sick PJ's all the time or makes a joke out of everything in life, but someone who can always see the bright side of things, some one who can make me laugh and laugh with me, someone who can always cheer me up however upset I am, someone who can make my heart smile!

The next quality has got to be the one of communication. I believe that any couple can totally work it out if they have a proper communication between them. But what exactly is proper communication? Proper communication for me is understanding what exactly the other person has to say, seeing both sides of an argument and also an ability to talk to each other about anything without any qualms. It is also being a perfect yin and yang with your partner. For example, I pride myself in being a good listener. So if I end up being with someone who doesn't talk too much then it could spell out trouble. A breakdown in communication can prove to be a pin-less grenade for a marriage.

Then of course there has to be love. I feel that the word 'love' is grossly misused these days. The meaning of love according to most people in this world today includes only everything carnal in nature. Venus, the Goddess of Love and Beauty has become the symbol of raw sexuality. I believe that the word has nothing to do with sexuality. My opinion would be that love is something which makes one care for another person more than themselves. Love is something that needs a lot of nurturing and understanding. The language of love is the best understood in this world as it does not need words. Love is the strongest bond that can be shared between two individuals and if there is true love, nothing can ever separate them.

As the subject of love popped up naturally the subject of emotions also pop up. In this new world of today the image of macho men who hide all emotions is giving way to the metrosexual man who is in touch with his emotions. The myth that 'Big boys don't cry' is on the path of being buried 'six feet under'. So the individual who I am going to marry has to be in touch with his emotions and should be able to express them at least to a certain extent. I mean, I have to hear that he loves me and that he cares for me and things like that. I cant spend an entire lifetime without hearing that! If something is wrong I have to know what it is or how can things work out?

Another quality in my ideal husband has to be one of trust. He should be someone who I can trust with my life. Trust is the most important element in a marriage. I mean, how can I spend my entire life with a person whom I do not trust? Breach of trust is suicidal for a marriage as it leads to doubt and doubt to deception.

Also, my husband has to support me in whatever I do. If that is so thn what the rest of the world says does not matter. I should know that in he will support me in my every endeavor and believe in me and what I want to do. He should not be like what my parents are. They say that they don't mind whatever career I choose as long as it is engineering or medical! I mean what kind of option is that? They don't even bother listening to what I want to do. Does it matter to them that I want go into journalism or rural development and human rights? It doesn't. But it should matter to my husband.

Another one of the important qualities in my ideal husband would have to be honesty and frankness. Lying is something that I cant stand. He has to be frank and open to me. He must be able to talk to me about anything. If he thinks that something I am doing does not feel right then he should tell me so and not think that he would hurt me in doing so.

My ideal husband should accept me as who I am. I have my set of principles. I have my opinions. I have my personality. I have my likes and dislikes. I have my ideas. I have my ideals. I have my personality. And I plan to stick onto them. I wouldn't want him to try to change any of that in me or change himself for me. Just because we get married does not mean that we change our individuality. I have my thoughts and he has his. We have to learn to respect them and not pass judgment.

Now coming to the looks. What if I say I want the mirror image of someone like Tom Cruise or Jude Law? It would be totally impractical because they would then say that the want someone like Nicole Kidman or Demi Moore! And that would be totally impossible because I know that I don't match up to even a quarter of any of them. It isn't the beauty on the outside that matters but the beauty on the inside. I don't care whether he looks like Hagar, the Horrible or Hugh Grant as long as I love him.

These would some up the main qualities that I want in my ideal husband. You could still include humility, patience, politeness, love for kids, love for nature, love for pets, quite a bit of cash and so on. I though don't want him to be a wimpy lapdog who hangs onto every word I say and follows me around. And he shouldn't even think of expecting the same from me though I wouldn't mind traveling with him. I need my space and my independence and I am ready to give him his. A successful and happy marriage is what I want and I hope I will get.





People die younger.. because god loves them so much..
I am still on earth.. because there's a goddess here who loves me more..

The fact of Life

One of the main issue of the abortion issue is when is the fetus human. Many believe it is at the exact time when sperm and egg unite and then given a soul, a totally human thing. Others believe it is only human when human forms are clear and distinctive. While othersbelieve it isn't a human until its out side and surviving by its own will. I just happen to believe, it becomes human when the sperm and egg join to become one and gets its soul. Like gas and fire, on there own without combination they are just things. Until they combined to make energy.

I had a interest talk one day with a old friend who was a avid gardener and often ask him for gardening advice. One day as he was planting in his garden I asked him what he was planting and he said tomato plants. (Now hold on to your salad dressing) I asked, what makes them tomato plants? How do you know you will get tomatoes from these plants? He looked at me funny and said they are tomato plants, I bought the seeds and planted them and cared for them to this stage to be planted. And when they mature I will get tomatoes from them. Reasonable logic right!

He went on to tell me about plant genetics and all that science chitz. Then I asked him when does a seed become a plant. He told me when just the right ingredients are blended: first you plant the seed in a pot, and planting medium, add water to penetrate its shell and this activates a chemical reaction and the plant begins its life. So I ask him, like when a woman get pregnant? He looked at me funny like, shook his head, laugh, though for a few seconds and said, yes, all the right ingredients were there to start a "brand" life.

This kind of reminded me of one day while out squirrel hunting on a beautiful October day when I sat down on this big old log to rest. As I sat there I began to study the ground floor in front of me. Just off to the right stood a huge oak tree laden with acorns so much it looked like layers of umbrellas drooping. I thought, there must be thousands of those little acorns hanging on that big old tree. I guess mated it to be maybe 200-250 years old. Then I looked around and studied the woods and there were a few other oak trees ranging from tiny little sprites on up of various sizes, but nothing to compare to this tree in size and production in acorns. Sure the deer, squirrels, and birds all take their share for food but I counted less then 30 other oak trees at various stages of growth, none came close to the size of this one. Then I thought how many bitter cold winters and scorching hot summers it went through over the years and forest fires as you could see the bottom bark of the big old oak tree had scars from burn-over. This tree first had to survive the hunger of all sorts of critters. Then it had to have the right conditions to root and begin to grow and survive year after year from deer browse, heat, cold, perhaps flooding and forest fires and other perils to get where it was that day. Over the years tramping through the woods I often past that old tree. One day, some twenty years after that memorial day while out looking for morrels I notice the tree was cut down, perhaps for round wood logs to make furniture or cord wood. A sadness came over me to see it gone. One day not long afterwards I came out with a friend and we sliced off a slab of the stump and I made a rustic table for my friend and ever time I went over to his place and saw it there in the corner it reminded me of that day and all the life it gave over its life span.
RD

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love
bp

"The Feeling Of Love"

                       "The Feeling Of Love"

 
It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.
 
You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do anymore that take the life out of the experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical impulses in the body, love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people
share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love will come to you in full flower. Take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we all sahre. More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.

When this happens to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answwers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other person no longer love them, or try to get their love to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love  would bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is nomeaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

You need to know this about love, and accept it.  You need to treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other
person's heart.

If you find yourself someone in love with you but you don't love him back, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with yourself. All our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with aother, and he falls in love withyou, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it nor to access blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing,  then reach out and give it away. Give it back to theperson who brought it alive in you. give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead becomee someone who seeks loove. They forget that hthe secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its time, its own season, its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, ot reson it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from theheart of your lover, there isnothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
BE GLAD THAT IT CAME TO LIVE FOR A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE

   **** If you keep your heart open, it will come again....


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love
bp

SEX THE WORLDS MOST POWERFUL DRUG

barbara ,your so right with this, LDRs you dont have physical sex,and i
believe that in the real world too many people do,and its all to quick,
and its the most mind bending drug in the universe, therefore when the
sex wears off as it does what are you left with????? this way you build
a true relationship,you learn about each other first,and everything that
is important on building a firm basis for a relationship ,so yes this is
the best way to start any relationship,and i think it has more chance
than the normal one which is influnced by sex, . maybe im so so right
,and thats why there is such a massive divorce rate. another thing i do
is we both have headsets and mikes and use yahoo chat,or msn which are
both free,and we can hear each other,and the emotions in our voice,and
that makes things so so so much better.

love and true caring terryd uk

Barbara Sumegi wrote:
>
> Hi,
> The closeness you say that LDR's miss out on is purely physical, you
> develop such a strong emotional connection with the person you are
> with. As you can't do anything besides share your every thought and
> feeling, that is where your real intimacy comes from. Developing it a
> form of a LDR really sets up a strong foundation of trust and respect
> for the other person, the kind of foundation that people who have a
> conventional relationship may never have. If you love, you love,
> regardless of whether your partner is physically in your life. Yes,
> what you have is a really close friend, but in life don't you always
> want you best friend with you, LDR's aren't always that way,
> eventually you end up together and I know that my man is the one I
> want to grow old with and I will be extremely happy if this really
> good friend is there through everything I go through in life. I am
> sorry to hear that your past LDR's have been so painful and emotional
> for you, but as you can see put this
> support group is here to give advice and listen to any problems that
> are encountered, there is real strength here and if ever anyone hits a
> bump there are quite a few people to help them through and weather the
> storm until they are strong again. The real thing you get out of LDR's
> if you are honest, open and loyal with your partner is a real, true
> loving relationship.. Simple as that. I am in my 1st LDR and I have
> been with Rick for just over 3 years now, he lives in America and I in
> Australia. The truth is it is really HARD but I am truely happy, I
> love him with ever fibre of my being and I feel so safe and secure in
> his love, we have worked on this relationship constantly, we are
> always in connact and never have fallen out with each other, we know
> what we have is real and we aren't going to throw it away over trivial
> things. So if ever you need to talk about anything or get back into a
> LDR there are always people here to support and encourage you.
> Remember that and st ay
> strong.
> Regards Barbara.
>
>

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love
bp